Here lies Lester Moore
Now there's no Les no more
The tombstone says their last line
Witty, funny and sometimes in rhyme
Rodney Dangerfield couldn't tell a falsehood
He said, "There goes the neighborhood"
Though he never had a festschriften
"I won't be right back," said Merv Griffin
"Filling my last cavity" on the dentist's stone
Tombstone humor can make you groan
"I told you I was sick" was his last word
So now he knows we finally heard
To laugh or not to laugh in a cemetary
Some say the decision is arbitrary
Graveside humor is nothing new
Even after death, there's no taming of the shrew
To all those who were yet unknown
Shakespeare said, "Cursed be he that moves my bones"
The deceased can have whatever they pick
Spike Milligan said: "I told you so" in Gaelic
Laugh or cry as you visit the departed
Leslie Nielsen's stone says he farted
To all those who just don't like the jokes
Mel Blanc's says' "That's all folks"
© 2026 Brian McNeal
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
THE JOY OF FACETIME
When the old rancher reached the end of his life
He left more bills than income for his poor wife
The couple's son assumed the debt
So Mom could enjoy her last years without sweat
When Mom began to decline, unneeded services were terminated
Little by little, most of her daily debt was deflated
Month after month the bills were paid until there were none
Thanks to a caring and generous rancher's son
Then one day, out of the blue, he gets a call from debt collection
Seems a bill for telephone and broadband service was the objection
But that service was cancelled long ago said the rancher's heir
"I stopped service myself when Mom started living at Elder Care"
"But service can only be stopped by the account holder"
"That account was in dad's name, and he ain't gettin' any older"
"We must speak to the account holder in order to end service"
"Soon as I can get him to the phone," quipped the son, sorta nervous
Well, now, it's off to the graveyard and with phone mounted on stand
He facetimes the agency with phone pointed at headstone big and grand
Quietly he walks around behind the lens and hears the grumbles
Then after a while he asks if they'd heard his dad cause sometimes he mumbles
He explained that he hasn't been able to have a decent conversation in years
It's so hard to get through six feet of graveyard dirt to reach dad's ears
But he was glad to comply and let them speak to the owner of the account
Several weeks later he received a letter with a zero balance for the amount
© 2026 Brian McNeal
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
