DOORS
What's a feller supposed to do
When he can't figure out which door to choose
Standing there in desperation
Hoping for some consideration
Should he use door number one or number two
It's not like a Television game show
The poor feller's just gotta go
But someone was cruel
With signs for the stool
And labeled them so no one would know
Standard signs for each gender
"LADIES" or "MEN" from the vendor
Are replaced by humor
For the unwary consumer
Likely to become a "wrong-door offender"
Sometimes it's simple to figure out
"COWBOYS" or "COWGIRLS" leaves no doubt
But confusion ensues
A wrong door might amuse
Or cause one hell of a shout
Sometimes it's frustration
When a feller is in desperation
Holding back
A bladder attack
And premature urination
Sometimes it's a good guffaw
When your teeth don't need to gnaw
No need to worry
You're in no hurry
Just laugh at the chutzpah
When comfort rooms are outside the gate
The owner makes it easy to decide your fate
Men, first tree to the right
Ladies, left, out of sight
All others need to go straight
© 2026 Brian McNeal
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ROCKS ON TABLES
In a little desert town out in Arizona
Down around the Southwestern border
For as long as I can recollect
Rock hounds come to reconnect
The town absorbs the impact once more
Millions of people camped on the desert floor
RVs, tents and converted buses
People, dogs, cats, and horses
The idle rich, the curious and the bourgeois
All come to buy, sell or trade. Polished or raw
Barrels of rocks dumped out on the ground
Vendors of all sorts peppered around town
It's a place called Quartzsite down on I-10
Hi-Jolly's there, in a tomb, where he's been
Resting for more than a hundred years
While rock hounds visit and drink their beers
Gems and minerals and lots of desert sands
Tourists dance and listen to the local rock bands
Cactus, creosote bushes and lizards soaking sun
Warm days, cold nights, but nothing stops the fun
Rocks and people compete for space and air
If you go to buy or sell or just gander at the fair
Don't get bamboozled by hook or crook or by chance
There's more rocks on tables than what we got on the ranch
© 2026 Brian McNeal
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NAMES
What's in a name anyway?
The name game that children play
Some are thought out well
And some you just can't tell
Names of companies you know
Names of places where you go
Sometimes very easy to understand
Some are cute and some are bland
But those that miss the mark,
Those with the wrong earmark
Are the ones you question
When they make the wrong suggestion
Painted boldly on the side of the tank
The company's name that stank
As if the idea came to them wondrously
Passmore Gas & Propane Company
The name is on the building and on the brochure
Is this the: Amigone Funeral Home ?
© 2026 Brian McNeal
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