B.I.Y. (BREW IT YOURSELF)
Well, it's a sure bet that cowboys know how to drink beer
But did you ever hear of a cowboy who liked to brew?
Well, sit back and listen and a tale of such, you will hear
All about an Irish cowboy known as Suds O'Donoghue
Now Suds was best buds with a bloke who threw off the yolk
They left Ireland and came to the New World to make their score
And found themselves on a cattle ranch with no Irish folk
Livin' in a bunkhouse, miles from town, with not a pint to pour
When the need arises, a cowboy rises to the occasion
Once a month, they hijacked the cookhouse and scrubbed it down
Nary a stray virus could find a way to make an invasion
And they were more'n ready when Cooky returned from town
Hops and barley and a bright shiny copper bathtub new
A little malt for color and a roaring fire and the wait began
Stir and boil, boil and stir and then cool the brew
Aye, 'twas goin' to be a beer to make proud all their Irish kinsman
But there's a lot of waitin' and watchin' and not much else to do
So the boys began thinking of special names to attach
"Cactus Juice" and "Warsh Water" were considered and discarded too
And so were "Bunkhouse Blast" and "Sud's Blood Batch"
Well, they soon tired of striking up wacky names and turned to tellin' jokes
Suds came up first with a real knee-slapper about a gal from Nantucket
Then, Cooky thought of a shaggy dog story he learned from his folks
Before they knew it, they nearly blew it and burned their beer in the bucket.
When the batch was done and properly aged to fermentation perfection,
'Twas time to taste and swirl it around to see how long the foam would last
To their surprise, it was dark brown but with nary a hint of a burnt detection
And both the boys swore 'twas better'n anything they ever tasted in Belfast
"This is so good," said Suds, "We need to give it a proper name from the homeland"
"Perhaps we should use your great great grandpapa's name, if we have it in us"
All that day and long into the evening there was merriment and good fun by all the ranch hands
And so it was that some in the West got their very first taste of a brew called Irish Guinness
WHAT THE PEOPLE NEED
There are problems in this country
And that's for sure and certain
Now let me say this plain and bluntly
We might as well be behind the iron curtain
Riders in the Sky always say
Things are a whole lot better
When done the cowboy way
And you can spell that with a capital letter
Gene Autry had a cowboy code
Not many today could pass the test,
Choosing to follow a wrong road
Finding honor in their own arrest
Well, to tell you true and pull no punches
The way this cowboy sees it,
Too many are going for the free lunches
And unwilling when the devil comes to seize it
To return to yesteryear, if only we could,
To a time when courtesy and respect ruled
When the cowboy way was right and good
And lawbreakers were swiftly cooled
So let me express this simple protest
And run it up the pole with the flag and eagle
What we need is a lot fewer people in the West
And a lot more West in the people
Time to go for coffee is what he'd say
Anytime too much pain got in the way
Put the hammer down and take the apron off
Trot on down to the Golden Horseshoe trough
Talkin' 'bout the weather, the guv'mnt and such
In our two-man cowboy coffee clutch
Fixin' all the world's troubles and settin' it right
Thinkin' 'bout plans for new boots of mule hide
Sittin' round his shop on a stool
While he worked with coffee gettin' cool
Watchin' a saddle being built
Laughin' 'bout a seat like a crazy-quilt
His Arbuckles cup right there beside him
As he punched the holes in a Stetson wide brim
Arbuckles or French Market with chicory
Master Craftsman boots with interlaced trickery
Well, that Arbuckles cup was bequeathed to me
Just before he passed on to everlasting eternity
And now as I slowly sip his favorite Ariosa blend
I'm always drinking cowboy coffee with a friend.
